That photo isn't of me, but it perfectly encapsulates my feelings as I sit down to work each day. My head is a highway filled with buzzing noises directing me this way and that. If you've ever had ADHD, you'd most likely understand the feeling. And even if you haven't, there has likely been a time you've felt overwhelmed.
But how often is something like a trip to the grocery store a cause for concern even when it's within 5-minutes walking distance? My point is that I have a lot on my plate and even the most mundane of tasks is enough to freeze me in my tracks.
I'm still battling to keep everything at bay while I work to finish off the last of my Hopkins homework. I've put it off for long because ever since the attacks on me by DoDEA, my mind has been occupied with making sure I've exposed their filth and corruption to ensure no more kids or teachers are harmed. However, I need to put a pause on that chapter of my life for now while I whack out the rest of Hopkins.
This post is meant to be therapeutic. And there is a reason why I don't share this blog with anyone, because although my blog is public, these posts are more for me than for anyone else. People may eventually come across it as they search the expanses of the internet. Perhaps even a DoDEA administrator attempting to look for dirt on me to cover up their own misdeeds could stumble upon this blog too. They'd be fooling themselves because they know some of the truly corrupt and how I'll readily give those names up when it comes to bringing forth justice.
I've also been busy working on Café Lingua. It's been a fun process but I'm struggling with certain steps such as acquiring funding and acquiring a location. The location is going to be the most key step in any part of this process, but it will also be the most costly.
But here's a quick look into the thoughts swirling in my head right now. My Macbook is breaking down and needs repair. I'm down to one pair of jeans and I need to buy a new pair. I really, REALLY, need to finish this Hopkins work. I need to call the rest of these doctors and arrange appointments. I need to get refills of my prescription medication. I need to eat healthier. I need to exercise more. This weekend is my wife's birthday celebration. I need to go over to my parents' at some point to borrow my brother's laptop. My parents also want to celebrate my wife's birthday. I need to keep the house clean. I need to do laundry. I need to drive to Virginia to get a vehicle safety inspection to be able to drive for Lyft and Uber. I need to get a vehicle emissions test, because the self-service kiosk wouldn't allow me to go. I want to work on stuff for my business but I can't, because I need to do these non-negotiables first. I need to attend language exchanges. I want to pick up Muay Thai again. Should I read more? Look at that piano, should I try learning piano? When is my stuff arriving from Belgium? These cups frustrate me. I'm tired. I'm not tired enough. I should do some phone banking for Andrew Yang. I need to finish up my online interview with VIPKids. I need to apply for funding with YCombinator. I need to work on my Applesとオレンジ game.
All these thoughts and more occupy my brain and swirl around non-stop. In fact, "I need to finish a blog post to feel productive" is a frequent thought that pops up into my head. And I'm finishing writing this blog as well to get that current thought off my mind.
After I finish posting up this blog, my next task is to organize the rest of my week so I can reach maximum productivity. My goal is to finish up the rest of my assignments by August 31st, so I need to create a plan in order to accomplish that as there is no more important goal than that. My professors gave me a reasonable extension of time and now its up to me to meet that goal. I can definitely do this, but it sure would have been easier had working with DoDEA not crushed my soul and threw me out of whack.
At one point in time I had developed extremely good habits, but when the administrators at my school had continuously pushed me past my breaking point I had lost the ability to focus. I was constantly putting out fires at the school redirecting my attention from more meaningful tasks. Now I'm working to rebuild that focus and the rest of my good habits. And this is another day in this battle!
If today is August 19th, that means I have today, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26,27, 28, 29, 30, and 31. That's 13-days and roughly, 2 weeks. A few of those days I need to spend dedicated to celebrating Jin's birthday, but other than that, I should be free to focus. I've got this!